Charla Lauriston is a Los Angeles based writer and producer hailing from New York by way of Boston by way of Haiti. Charla has written for TV, most recently The Last OG on TBS. She appeared on The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail on Comedy Central and co-hosts the Secret Lives of Black Women podcast.
What was the one thing holding you back from accepting self-love? Childhood experiences. I don’t think that I had experiences in my childhood that modeled self-love. It took therapy to realize that, I didn’t even put those two things together. It’s very valuable to mediate on your childhood experiences and what tapes we’ve been given, what perspectives of ourselves we’ve been told to have, understanding that the way that people treated you or the ways that they didn’t protect you or love you… it’s not a reflection on you. You have the power to reframe those experiences. You can change the narrative you’ve been given.
One person who changed your life for the better? Definitely my husband. I really had a lot of my revelations about self-love being called to love someone. I’m the kind of person who thought that I was such a good lover, I was really good at giving love. It’s impossible to really do that when you don’t love yourself. Those were the kinds of things I was made to face. He’s been my biggest self-love inspiration.
What is the best advice you’ve ever received? Somebody told me to keep your eyes on your own paper and I just never forgot it and I repeat it a lot. Share a self-care habit that you practice regularly. I have been trying to do and say how I actually feel. Isn’t it crazy? If I don’t want to go somewhere or do something, in the past I would say sure, trying to be accommodating. I’m less and less accommodating and happier and happier every time. It has been a huge self-care moment.
What book are you reading right now? “Educated” by Tara Westover and Toni Morrison’s “The Source of Self-Regard”
The Secret Lives of Black Women Podcast
Writer, speaker, and certified life coach, Zoe’s passion lies in helping women navigate their faith walk and cultivate self-love. She believes that self-love originates at the intersection of God’s love and the discovery of one’s spiritual identity.
In this episode, Zoe discusses listening in to her inner voice, finding stillness, and discerning the voice of God.
Live Your Purpose: Free Guide to Goal-Setting: www.dearqueens.com/goalsetting
Instagram: @z.dearqueens and @therealdearqueens
Guest Rae du Soleil discusses a time in her life when she felt immense gratitude for for her transformation, but also grief over the paths now closed to her. She shares how these two things can co-exist.
Rae's music and latest album promote “creation for connection,” inspiring courage, vulnerability, and empowerment. Indie Band Guru has called her songwriting “a ray of empathy for those needing it most.” Rae performs regularly along the West Coast and loves her work with community-based organizations that empower womxn and girls through the creative arts.